The Dare: Prepare a special dinner at home, just for the two of you. Really listen to them when they share personal thoughts and struggles with you. Make them feel safe. Talk with your spouse and resolve to demonstrate love in spite of these issues. The Dare: Determine to guard your mate’s secrets (unless they are dangerous to them or to you) and to pray for them. The Dare: Begin praying today for your spouse’s heart. The Dare: Choose a way to honor and respect your spouse that is above your normal routine…show your spouse that he or she is highly esteemed in your eyes. Do something he or she would love to do or a project they’d really like to work on. The Dare: Purposely neglect an activity you would normally do so you can spend quality time with your spouse. The Dare: Talk with your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement….resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs. Tell them you are putting their preference first. The Dare: Demonstrate love by willingly choosing to give in to an area of disagreement between you and your spouse. I filled today’s dare with just four words: “It’s okay. I’ll go.” The Dare: Choose a gesture that says, “I cherish you” and do it with a smile. The Dare: Do something out of the ordinary today for your spouse-something that proves (to you and to them) that your love is based on your choice and nothing else….demonstrate love to them for the sheer joy of being their partner in marriage. Then determine to change your greeting to reflect your love for them. The Dare: Think of a specific way you’d like to greet your spouse today. Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he or she recently enjoyed. To help you set your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterday’s list of negative attributes and discreetly burn it.
The Dare: Determine to become your spouse’s biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day … at some point during the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your spouse for having this characteristic. Then do the same with negative things on a second sheet. The Dare: On one sheet of paper, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your spouse.
Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life. Begin by making a list of areas where you need to add margins to your schedule. The Dare: Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. You must do this without attacking them or justifying your behavior. The Dare: Ask your spouse to do three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything you could do for them. The Dare: Contact your spouse sometime during the business of the day. The Dare: Whatever you put your time, energy and money into will become more important to you…along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says, “I was thinking of you today.” The Dare: In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness. Today’s dare was relatively simple. Just don’t say anything negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything. The Dare: For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. So I’m daring myself to take the plank out of my own eye, and to step up hand in hand with the man I love, our eyes focused on the God who put us together. I love my Marco I only reached day 7 but Jesus without following this challenge, has guided me…. I have to learn to accept the scars for what they are, and not allow anything or anybody to allow the past to come back to haunt me… The wounds may heal, but scabs seem to get knocked off sometimes, and this is my problem. I do know how much I’ve been hurt in the past, and how far we’ve come since then, but I also know that sometimes the past comes back and hits me so hard I recoil. Our relationship is complicated we’ve experienced times of true connection and total betrayal-with each of us defining those words in different ways.
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